April Fools! Iron Galaxy Has Fun With Fake Killer Instinct Xbox One 2.6 Patch Notes

Iron Galaxy decided to have a bit of fun today for April Fools by posting a fake listing of Killer Instinct Xbox One patch notes. There’s some hilarious notes in there that has Sabrewulf’s Shadow Eclipse doing 100% cash out damage and even going as far as removing Hisako from the game. Full list of false notes below as taken from the Ultra-Combo forums…

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Jago:

•All of Jago’s Moves have been removed, he now only has Jumping HP

Sabrewulf:

•Shadow Eclipse will see yet another change. Now cashes out 100% damage when it hits on wake-up.

Glacius:

•We thought that removing Glacius’ backdash would really sell everyone on the idea that he’s not a character focused on mobility but it seems that the player base doesn’t get it. So, to better enforce the play style that we envisioned for him, Glacius is now completely immobile

Thunder:
•Due to player feedback about his damage output, we are giving him all of Fulgore’s projectiles and lasers. Also throws sharks.

Sadira:

•We feel players don’t use the Web Balls enough so now Web Balls no longer go away after they’re placed

Orchid:

•Her grenades have been replaced with delightful Glitter Bombs. Easily disorients Riptor

Spinal:

•Starts with full skulls, never loses skulls. Shadow Skull depletes opponents entire instinct bar instantly

Fulgore:

•Now has a new command move that allows him to take his helmet off, exposing his true identity of Eagle, Thunder’s long-lost brother. Unfortunately, because Eagle is now just a brain wired into Fulgore’s head, this immediately kills Fulgore and ends Thunder’s quest for the truth.

TJ Combo:

•We have added Ultra-Breakers for everyone and given him full life bar on Last Breath
•As promised we revisited TJ’s autobarrage and found that it was not working as intended. The attacker currently has to put way too much effort into using it correctly. Hitting six different buttons in any order you want (without repeating!) can be very stressful, especially if you’re in the middle of a fight. We’ve remedied this by upping the damage to 75% and made the attacker only have to press two individual buttons for the first two hits. The rest of the combo is now unbreakable and causes a permanent lockout on the opponent if they try to break it.

Maya:

•Maya’s daggers are now only usable during instinct, but they are unblockable.

Kan Ra:

•No longer able to use Lights in combos.

Riptor:

•Players have been breaking buttons so she no longer has HP or HK attacks.

Omen:

•We didn’t think it was fair that you couldn’t always get 100% PD on your grab if the opponent wasn’t at 100% health, so now the PD will carry over into the opponent’s second health bar so you always get your 100%. If that was the last round the next opponent you face will start the game with the remaining PD on them from the previous fight.

Aganos:

•Always has armor, even in the mirror match. Chunks auto-replenish.

Hisako:

• Hisako is being removed from the game due to reports of Xbox Ones mysteriously moving around.